What do you Most Desire?

I’m working on my Desire Map.


I read.  I listened.  I wrote.  I spent lots of time on online dictionary sites.  I probed the minds of other Desire Mappers and even found tools like this to help distil down essential feelings into a collection of words that feel resonant to me.

I’d landed on


At Ease



a few weeks ago, but found that they all felt so very solitary in practice.  They are feelings I can emulate and sink into easily on my own.  I am fired up about them but I felt I was lacking a guiding word that I could lean on in my interactions with people.

Danielle La Porte says,

“How we interact with  people is how we interact with life.”

I think there is a lot of truth to that.

Sand & Driftwood

So I took a hard look at some of my tendencies and one stubbornly stared back…

defensiveness.  Ugh, not so pretty, not so lovely.

And while being defensive is important when your goal is protecting yourself or proving yourself, or trying to elbow out some room in this world.  It’s not so helpful in trying to connect or engage in dynamic interactions.  There is no room for true collaboration or synergistic growth.

So I stumbled upon the antonym of defensiveness, no, not offensive…in this sense that’s practically the same thing, but rather receptivity.  

And it was like someone rang a Tibetan Singing Bowl in my body, something clicked in a deep place.

Circles drawn by the Wind

Circles drawn by the Wind

Receptivity is allowing, opening, softening.  It is  giving someone your whole presence.

Receptivity is holding the space.  Giving someone room to share.  It is taking the other in, entirely, before filtering it out.

That’s very challenging at times, accepting influence, taking in suggestion and not habitually closing the door to guard the Self.

And that seems like maybe that’s exactly why it’s where I need to grow.

A stunted corner of my self that is ready to fill out, to bloom.

Do you value receptivity?  How does it show up in your world? I’d love to hear your thoughts, leave a note in the comments below.

14 thoughts on “What do you Most Desire?

  1. Yes, definitely value it. However, it’s challenging because it leaves you open, vulnerable. It shows up all of the time and in the past I’ve missed out a lot which hurts. But in more recent times, I’ve just open, receptive.

    I chose Osho’s Receptivity Tarot Card yesterday:

    Listening is one of the basic secrets of entering into the temple of God. Listening means passivity. Listening means forgetting yourself completely – only then can you listen.

    When you listen attentively to somebody, you forget yourself. If you cannot forget yourself, you never listen. If you are too self-conscious about yourself, you simply pretend that you are listening – you don’t listen. You may nod your head; you may sometimes say yes and no, but you are not listening.

    When you listen, you become just a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, a womb: you become feminine. And to arrive one has to become feminine. You cannot reach God as aggressive invaders, conquerors. You can reach God only…or it will be better to say God can reach you only when you are receptive, a feminine receptivity. When you become yin, a receptivity, the door is open – and you wait. Listening is the art for becoming passive.

    Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 5


    Receptivity represents the feminine, receptive quality of water and of the emotions. Her arms are extended upwards to receive, and she is completely immersed in the water. She has no head, no busy and aggressive mind to hinder her pure receptivity. And as she is filled she is continuously emptying herself, overflowing, and receiving more. The lotus pattern or matrix that emerges from her represents the perfect harmony of the universe that becomes apparent when we are in tune with it.

    The Queen of Water brings a time of unboundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands. Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important. Sensitivity, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole.

  2. I couldn’t edit my previous post, serves me right for not proofreading (LOL), but to answer more specifically, How does it show up in your world? I think when I’m open, holding that space, things come along moment by moment. However if I’m preoccupied or self-conscious or regretting, I miss the moment and even at times resist the flow (because I am defensive). But I too want to be more receptive, more present so I notice the flow and notice when things arise and allow myself to accept/receive. 🙂

  3. One of my CDf’s is Safety, which for me means being open instead of defensive so I relate to your post. I work with some fairly unplesanat people so it’s hard to practice this at work – the best I can do is visualise a lovely bubble around me to give out to others while also keeping me safe from emotional barbs.

  4. I was just working today with opposites, how they work together and shed light on each other, showing us things we’d forgotten. Love your blog and your post.

  5. Hi Shelly,
    Love receptive. It makes me think of aparigraha – non-attachment. It ‘s Sanskrit and one of the principles of yoga. It can be interpreted as non-attachment to things but also to outcomes and to control of situations, which in turn allows a state of being receptive without having to attach to the ideas, people, objects etc. that come into our lives. No idea if that’s any help to you but that’s what popped into my head when I read your blog!

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