I’m working on my Desire Map.
I read. I listened. I wrote. I spent lots of time on online dictionary sites. I probed the minds of other Desire Mappers and even found tools like this to help distil down essential feelings into a collection of words that feel resonant to me.
I’d landed on
a few weeks ago, but found that they all felt so very solitary in practice. They are feelings I can emulate and sink into easily on my own. I am fired up about them but I felt I was lacking a guiding word that I could lean on in my interactions with people.
Danielle La Porte says,
“How we interact with people is how we interact with life.”
I think there is a lot of truth to that.
So I took a hard look at some of my tendencies and one stubbornly stared back…
defensiveness. Ugh, not so pretty, not so lovely.
And while being defensive is important when your goal is protecting yourself or proving yourself, or trying to elbow out some room in this world. It’s not so helpful in trying to connect or engage in dynamic interactions. There is no room for true collaboration or synergistic growth.
So I stumbled upon the antonym of defensiveness, no, not offensive…in this sense that’s practically the same thing, but rather receptivity.
And it was like someone rang a Tibetan Singing Bowl in my body, something clicked in a deep place.
Receptivity is allowing, opening, softening. It is giving someone your whole presence.
Receptivity is holding the space. Giving someone room to share. It is taking the other in, entirely, before filtering it out.
That’s very challenging at times, accepting influence, taking in suggestion and not habitually closing the door to guard the Self.
And that seems like maybe that’s exactly why it’s where I need to grow.
A stunted corner of my self that is ready to fill out, to bloom.
Do you value receptivity? How does it show up in your world? I’d love to hear your thoughts, leave a note in the comments below.